no conditions

I think this is all about wooing.  I've built up cynicism, jadedness, anything necessary to safe guard my heart from falsity or hurt.  As I look back at what I've once believed and learned, I recall that the answer to this is that now is the time for God to break me.  Something new has clicked, like to joints gliding into place.  It's been there all along, but suddenly, without effort, the picture has become clear, more gentle.  His kindness shines brighter.  God has been asking me for several months now, with a lot of focus, to trust in Him, in who he is.  Slowly that's been revealed to me and been made more clear and now it's come down to a choice.  A choice to choose to trust in who God is no matter what else is going on.  It's hard.  I have the majority of my life built up in protecting myself, relying on that I know best and everyone else is a risk. This time, right now, is different than any other attempt to teach me to trust, because this time has no conditions.