Break?

Okay, I've calmed down quite a bit after my last explosion all over this site.  I've decided some things, like choosing to just be myself and live life with a lot of color and beauty.  I've decided to fight for my intimacy with the Lord.  To gain His heart for Central Asia and creativity.  

The funny thing is...

I told a couple friends I was taking a break for a year... a couple of them laughed in my face and honestly I laughed with me.  I have said that several times before.  And even now I can think of so many awesome guys I would like to spend some extra time with... I've had to hold myself back quite a bit.  I have to be honest with myself.  I need to take time being single and actually be single, not just turning my head to the left and the right.  I need to find my intimacy with the Lord and I need to make some great friendships with girls and guys.  I'm moving to Central Asia for Pete's sake.  I don't need to be running off starting something else.

I so wish I could just clear my mind of all this nonsense for a while.  Why do I do this so much?  "It's normal"  That's what a friend said to me today and it felt so good to know that it's normal to want to be with someone forever.  Oh frustrating.  Well, I'm off to my break. :)