Fish Bowl

Oh wow, so this past Saturday I was going to give myself a little reward of a delicious peanut butter cup before moving on to the next two weeks.  Well instead, a couple friends came to visit Friday night and we went out for drinks.  I started out with good intentions.  I was going to have a beer instead of a super fruity, syrupy drink.  When suddenly my friend suggested a fish bowl.  I've never tried one before so I jumped all in.  This wasn't my friends fault at all.  I suggested the place and knew it wasn't the sort of environment where you just order a beer.  The fish bowl soon arrived and it was enormous, dyed blue and mostly sugar.  We split it between the three of us, but I still got a splitting sugar head ache not far in.  We had fun, sure but the next day my stomach was in knots.  My system was getting used to no sugar and then I, all at once, practically swam in the stuff.  I don't count this in anyway a step backward.  I didn't feel out of control.  I just made a poor choice.  It did instead remind me why I'm giving this up in the first place.  Later that day Nate and I were joking around and I took what he said too seriously.  I had such a hard time holding back my tears and frustrations.  I thought to myself, "this only happens with sugar."  So I'm back at it again.  I'm growing in appreciation, my lack of sugar.  I'm still not certain of my route after I'm done.  I'm enjoying where I'm at but...

Last night I dreamed I was eating ice cream and woke up disappointed when it wasn't true.