Resolutions
Sugar, my vice.
Emotion, my driving force.
"An artists lives a draining life because they are needing to constantly look inside themselves and use their emotion for their art." I have said this so many times and believe it is true. But how far does this need to go? How much control do we give our emotions? In the past year, especially the past couple months, my emotion extremity level has been rising and topping my chart. I feel completely controlled by any small mishap or failed expectation. The smallest thing sets me off. I know the emotion I have is a gift and has allowed me to paint and see the world in a new way, but this is too far. I didn't know where this was coming from and I didn't know how to slow down. Every reaction felt like part of my makeup, my design. How can I change who I am?
Well, a couple weeks ago, nate came home to find me laying in bed crying. I was crying about small problems that can easily be solved. I used to be such a strong independent woman. "What did you eat today?" he asked. He has had a sneaking suspicion for several months now that my extreme emotion is linked with sugar. I began to rattle off cakes and candies and sodas. I had had no real food all day.
I love sugar, especially in the form of ice cream or pies, but nearly anything will do. As the holiday season has come around, I've been eating even more sugar than usual. It has been what gets me through stress and joy. I had developed an addiction. I would eat sugary foods, feel good for a while and then crash. My emotions were much tougher to bridle when I was in a low. So the only way to solve it was to eat more sugar.
As a result, I have decided to give up sugar for two weeks. I am already near the end of my first week. For the first couple days, my mouth watered almost constantly. I was hungry most of the time, because I was used to filling with ice cream between meals. Now, though, I feel level headed. I actually have the ability to stop when my emotions are building if I want or need to. Its amazing how one small thing like sugar can effect me so greatly.
What are you changing this year?
Emotion, my driving force.
"An artists lives a draining life because they are needing to constantly look inside themselves and use their emotion for their art." I have said this so many times and believe it is true. But how far does this need to go? How much control do we give our emotions? In the past year, especially the past couple months, my emotion extremity level has been rising and topping my chart. I feel completely controlled by any small mishap or failed expectation. The smallest thing sets me off. I know the emotion I have is a gift and has allowed me to paint and see the world in a new way, but this is too far. I didn't know where this was coming from and I didn't know how to slow down. Every reaction felt like part of my makeup, my design. How can I change who I am?
Well, a couple weeks ago, nate came home to find me laying in bed crying. I was crying about small problems that can easily be solved. I used to be such a strong independent woman. "What did you eat today?" he asked. He has had a sneaking suspicion for several months now that my extreme emotion is linked with sugar. I began to rattle off cakes and candies and sodas. I had had no real food all day.
I love sugar, especially in the form of ice cream or pies, but nearly anything will do. As the holiday season has come around, I've been eating even more sugar than usual. It has been what gets me through stress and joy. I had developed an addiction. I would eat sugary foods, feel good for a while and then crash. My emotions were much tougher to bridle when I was in a low. So the only way to solve it was to eat more sugar.
As a result, I have decided to give up sugar for two weeks. I am already near the end of my first week. For the first couple days, my mouth watered almost constantly. I was hungry most of the time, because I was used to filling with ice cream between meals. Now, though, I feel level headed. I actually have the ability to stop when my emotions are building if I want or need to. Its amazing how one small thing like sugar can effect me so greatly.
What are you changing this year?
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