Update on Silence

I haven't had much of a day off since I posted the article I was shown on BBC.com about finding silence, but there are so many moments in a day to choose real relationship with others or time to stop and be alone.  It is surprising to me how hard it is to choose to stop.  I always want to play a game or go somewhere or watch a movie instead of having a deep conversation with my husband.  It is just easier.  Imagine the level of relationship we would have with each other and the insight we would see within ourselves if we didn't have TV or computers or other means of distraction (at least that's what I use them for).

How do we change or take that first step?  How do we continue taking steps?

 I really am not a disciplined person, so a lot of my good intentions only go so far until I hit a hard spot.  But this is important.  Maybe I'm just afraid of what I will find in the silence... of what God will tell me or what I will see in myself.  If I'm going to be really honest, its been quite a while since I've sat down to listen to what God is saying.  He is a part of my life and I hear him throughout the day, but just sort of as a reference.  I acknowledge him periodically, but we don't engage in conversation.  It's been a rough couple years and I'm afraid of what he'll say or not say.  How do we take that risk into finding silence?  I wish I had a monastery to run off to, like the volunteers in this article, but I am stuck with my own routine and my own home and my own choices.

First day off is tomorrow.  I have housework that could distract me all day.  I have to choose.