wanting more

I always want more than what I have, but I'm not willing to risk the dreams I want the most.  All year, no, all my life, I have chased after my secondary dreams.  I want to do what I care about, but not actually have to get hurt or turned down or told I'm not good enough... well at least with what I want the most.

I want to sell my art, but every chance I get, I choose to try another route.  I'm so glad I have such an encouraging husband.  I was upset today, really upset, because again I reached out after something I wanted (a secondary dream) and it didn't work out.  I feel lost, but Nate turned to me and asked, "what do you really want?"  I want to be an artist.

We made some great and scary decisions today.  Its time to focus on painting even more and possibly take it a step further.  I'm not ready to say what that is yet because its all so new, and its been a rough week.  We'll see where this path takes us.